Why Your Doula Doesn't Care


So, perhaps it feels as though this post isn’t off to a good start, but I assure you it gets better.

Your doula doesn’t care. You heard it here first: She. Does. Not. Care.

And if she does, then perhaps it’s time to reconsider.

Let me explain myself…

Doula support is a no-strings attached business that supports women, giving them our absolute confidence in the choices they make through their pregnancy and birth. It’s not a conditional service; there’s no list of criteria that we expect or hope the women we care for fit, that’s not the business we are in.

Your doula knows that birth plays out in all different ways and that women come to the table with completely different ideals, hopes and fears.  Your doula doesn’t care if you find relief with an epidural or in the shower. She doesn’t care if you cry, swear, sing, or howl like the wolves pining for the moon. She doesn’t care if you choose a doctor or a midwife, if you give birth in the hospital or at home, in water or on land. There’s nothing that can stand in the way of your doulas support. No bias, no judgment, no feelings or personal preferences get to have a place in your birth except your own, because this is about you.  

Your doula does care that you are known and you are heard; that the details of what matters to you most are given the attention and respect they deserve. She cares that you are given information and choices in order to feel safe and supported. She cares that you are nurtured and loved through every moment of this journey. Her desire is to give you the absolute assurance that above all, she believes in YOU, the mother of this birth. 

No matter what you choose, regardless of how the wonder of your birth unfolds, we don’t care. To the doula who is supporting your birth, there is no right or wrong, there is no care, there is only you.