comox valley doulas

The Truth About Your Babymoon

 

It sounds blissful, doesn’t it? A babymoon; laying in with your sleepy newborn, nursing, cuddling, smelling their sweet fragrance while counting tiny fingers and toes over and over again, filled with days of warm, healing baths, breakfast in bed, while gently easing yourself into cozy walks around the neighbourhood…

CUE THE STATIC FUZZ.

Cue reality.

There absolutely is an unquestionable sweetness about the early days. Coming face to face with the baby you’ve co-created is indescribable. Perhaps it’s a relief to be un-pregnant after suffering some of the hardest symptoms like pregnancy depression or hypermesis gravidarium, or maybe you are wistfully remembering the feeling of your baby inside of you after a energized and fairy tale 10 months. It doesn’t matter anymore, because your baby is finally in your arms.

But let’s stop romanticizing all of it, because it’s not all baby bliss. Let’s talk about the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly, because the days postpartum are all of these things at any given moment.

Your baby-moon will involve sweet, sleepy cuddles. In one moment you’ll be admiring each crease and curve of your tiny miracle. In another moment, you may be a hot mess of hormones, crying because your husband put the glass of water just out of reach on the table in front of you rather than placing it in your hand. Doesn’t he realize you’re one-handed, breastfeeding, insatiably thirsty, and now you can’t even reach your water?!? It happens, it really does.

If you are in the days and weeks postpartum, your babymoon may really be...

Watching your baby peacefully dozing in the bassinet…and hours of crying (both of you), trying to figure out if you should swaddle, nurse, rock, wrap, drive, push, bounce…

Counting fingers and toes while cradling your baby at your breast…or curling your toes because you haven’t figured out the latch while your baby ravenously roots for your raw, blistered nipples…

Friends who come by to peek at your newborn, with a meal in hand and a mop for your floor…and company that comes too early, stays too long, and brings flowers, not food…

The elated feelings that come with staring in to the eyes of a little piece of you...or the waves of intense emotion that leave you a milk-drenched, weeping mess of a mom who isn’t sure this will get easier…

Skin to skin in a warm tub for baby’s first bath…or your first shower in a week, in desperate hopes that hot water pouring down on your chest will bring some relief to your hugely engorged, throbbing breasts…

Sitting in the quiet buzz of your favorite coffee, reading a book while baby sleeps peacefully in the carseat next to you…or breastfeeding your screaming, overtired, hangry baby in a bathroom stall at the mall in fear of a nip-slip in front of a dozen strangers…

Pumping milk for a bottle so that someone else can take a turn while you nap…and hand expressing milk while massaging out a blocked duct to avoid a second bout of mastitis…

Your babymoon is blissful and brutal. It will be picturesque and poop up to the neck. Through the highs and lows of this amazing and overwhelming season, enjoy the beautiful moments, know you aren’t alone in the struggle, and remember that you are enough. 

Why Your Doula Doesn't Care

 

So, perhaps it feels as though this post isn’t off to a good start, but I assure you it gets better.

Your doula doesn’t care. You heard it here first: She. Does. Not. Care.

And if she does, then perhaps it’s time to reconsider.

Let me explain myself…

Doula support is a no-strings attached business that supports women, giving them our absolute confidence in the choices they make through their pregnancy and birth. It’s not a conditional service; there’s no list of criteria that we expect or hope the women we care for fit, that’s not the business we are in.

Your doula knows that birth plays out in all different ways and that women come to the table with completely different ideals, hopes and fears.  Your doula doesn’t care if you find relief with an epidural or in the shower. She doesn’t care if you cry, swear, sing, or howl like the wolves pining for the moon. She doesn’t care if you choose a doctor or a midwife, if you give birth in the hospital or at home, in water or on land. There’s nothing that can stand in the way of your doulas support. No bias, no judgment, no feelings or personal preferences get to have a place in your birth except your own, because this is about you.  

Your doula does care that you are known and you are heard; that the details of what matters to you most are given the attention and respect they deserve. She cares that you are given information and choices in order to feel safe and supported. She cares that you are nurtured and loved through every moment of this journey. Her desire is to give you the absolute assurance that above all, she believes in YOU, the mother of this birth. 

No matter what you choose, regardless of how the wonder of your birth unfolds, we don’t care. To the doula who is supporting your birth, there is no right or wrong, there is no care, there is only you.

 

A Little Bit About Me

This doula thing - this is what I love. The journey I have been on to supporting women through pregnancy, birth and the postpartum period has been thrilling, to say the least. Being a part of this deeply transformative time of a couples life is something I consider an absolute privilege. This video is to simply give you a small glimpse of who I am, and why I love what I do.